WHEN PEER GROUP’S OPINION MATTERS MORE FOR THE YOUNG

Mrs.Leela Madhusudan Bhavan’s Gandhi Vidyashram, Kodaikanal 624 101. WHEN PEER GROUP’S OPINION MATTERS MORE FOR THE YOUNG “TO BE YOURSELF IN A WORLD THAT IS CONSTANTLY TRYING TO MAKE YOU SOMETHING ELSE IS THE GREATEST ACCOMPLISHMENT” - EMERSON. We often speak of education as inclusive, man-making or developing the all round personality of the individual. But in reality school or even college education fails to give the learners the much required skills and abilities to grapple with life. How much of what is learnt in schools is useful for us in real life. On retrospect we realize that a lot of information is put in the young only to lie undigested when they are starving for life – skill education. If it is first things first then education should be life building first. It should help build a high self esteem. If so the young will easily come to terms with life and accept themselves for what they are instead of looking up at others for opinions. Those of us who are dealing youngsters will unarguably agree that adolescence is the most difficult and changing phase in life. This is the time when they start giving more importance to other people’s perception, especially of the people of their age group. Most of the youngsters are looking for acceptance in a group and thus overanxious about things that matters to others. Peer pressure can be both good and bad. There are youngsters who positively influence others. But most often the opposite is true. When students who are very studious and highly motivated come in contact with a group which is carefree and easy going, we can observe their dipping motivation to study within a few days. When one gives too much importance to others views and attitudes, without really introspecting how they are going to affect life, one is doomed to suffer. Can’t schools do something to keep the motivation level of students up? In the absence of a well defined personality development programme at schools youngsters, at a vulnerable age, are left with the only option of looking up at their peers who are equally ignorant but bold enough to act as trendsetters. They may have the gift of the gab and others take their comments seriously. Due to over anxiety they take undue effort to please others and thus play into the hands of these persuasive friends. Many in the growing age start feeling bad about their height, build, complexion, look and so on. All of us feel different and self conscious at times. Societal expectations and pressures make us feel self-conscious about how we dress, behave etc. But teenage is the time when the people feel as though the whole world is watching their every move and action. This makes them too afraid to make mistakes. Some of them even prefer to play safe by not speaking in public or even avoid appearing in places where many people gather as these make them feel uncomfortable. One of the most difficult things to learn at a later stage is the act of socializing freely shedding inhibition. Even as one takes effort one finds it difficult to maintain eye contact while speaking to new people. This will be adjudged as lacking in confidence or interpersonal skills while attending an interview or even in personal life. It is natural for teens to become self-conscious as this is the time they are adjusting to physical and emotional changes which are a part of growing up. The young need to be made aware that everyone goes through life in the same way and there is nothing to be embarrassed. They should be made to feel comfortable with what they are and taught to love themselves as the most important person. They should not be left to worry taking others seriously. If they lookup at others especially peers to give encouragement or motivation they feel discouraged when they do not get it. They have to understand that everyone does not mean good. There are always people who try to pull others down or make others feel inferior. So the young should be taught to draw motivation from within. They should also know that they need not be afraid to make mistakes and nobody sees them as too big. It is the duty of teachers to treat their students with empathy. They must be freely approachable and ready to guide the young in all their problems. These are the days all study materials and resources are available to almost everyone with the development in technology. But the guidance and direction to the young can be provided only by the teachers. When this is not done, many youngsters feel like a fish out of water and they are going to live with such feelings, probably, forever. There needs constant effort from the teachers as well as parents to understand the teens and keep them away from the trap laid by malicious peers. Also if confidence and high self esteem are instilled in the young, they cannot be easily brain washed as they will be able to recognize the bad intentions of others. The young should be taught in context that they should not take criticisms of others too personally or seriously. They need to take a self inventory to evaluate themselves. Instead if they look up at jealousy filled peers who try put downs, they are just allowing themselves to be washed by the current. In the growing age adolescents like to spend much time in peer groups. As attitudes are infectious, it is time they need to be choosy about what company they should keep and what they should avoid. This is also the age in which one can gain immeasurable confidence and grow gaining positive criticism and feedback. If right direction is given, most of the children can shine and emerge successfully. Very often listening to negative criticism will affect one’s psyche and stifle the growth of the mind. So one must cultivate the feeling that just as a currency note does not lose its value even if crumpled one should not lose one’s value due to negative criticism or opinion of others. To maintain such a positive self –image even in adverse circumstances what the young needs is support and understanding. Schools should not feel it is the duty of parents to extend such support. Due to lack of awareness many parents resort to shout at their children only aggravating the problem when they see their young ones as gloomy shy and feeling insecure. The young will be able to tell their problems only to those who they feel do not blame them for no faults of their own and are ready to listen to them. This we can not expect in every house hold. So it should be the role of the educational institutions to bring out the young as smart, positive self – expressive and self – confident. The aim of all education should be liberating and make the young independent. If so they will be able to think freely and feel right in doing so. The teachers in educational institutions also will not be merely performing the job of assembly line workers. As a result the educational system will be producing young individuals who can stand out from the crowd and take a path which is less travelled. END Mrs.Leela Madhusudan Bhavan’s Gandhi Vidyashram, Kodaikanal 624 101.